deconversion

Thought I'd share this post from my blog with all y'all. Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas:

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Last night, Allison and I finally sat down to wrap the presents we got for Lauren, Jesse and Max. I'm thinking she was a little bit punchy from a combination of being up late, a few extra Christmas cookies, plus the fact that I finally gave her carte blanche to work the tape dispenser. Either way, at one point she broke into a spontaneous rendition of Wham's "Last Christmas."

"How do you even know that song?" I asked, fairly positive that it didn't exist in our iTunes Christmas shuffle.

"They play it on the bus," she said before launching into another chorus.

Last Christmas... I gave you my heart.
The very next day... you gave it away.
Next year... I'm gonna give it to somebody special.

At which point she stopped singing, looked at me and said, "I know who that is."

Assuming she meant she knew who sang the song I asked, "Oh yeah, who?"

"God and Jesus."

That stopped me for a second. George Michael has been called a lot of things, but I imagine Lord and Creator of the universe is not one of them.

"God and Jesus sing this?" I asked.

"No, that's who she's going to give her heart to," Allison clarified. (Apparently they play the Taylor Swift version on the bus) "Because God and Jesus are really special."

That stopped me a second longer.

Applying what she understood about life, love and the world to this cheesy Christmas song, Allison knew that no matter how fickle other people could be with their affections, God and Jesus would never take her love for granted.

You all know the place I've recently come to regarding religion, but how can you argue with a faith like that? In churches all over America, Christians talk about having a childlike faith in God. But very few of them ever come to the place where Allison already is, where the only thing that matters is that God loves you and you love Him... no questions, no qualifying conditions, and no eternity of torture if you mess something up.

I was rendered speechless for the barest of instants before saying through a slightly tighter throat, "You're right Allison. They are special. I think that is who she gave her heart to."

No matter what your faith this Christmas, whether your reason for the season is Jesus, family or tradition, I hope you all experience this simple joy of loving and being loved. Whether it's a spouse, a child, a close friend or an invisible man in the sky, I hope you all have somebody special to give your heart to, somebody who will keep it close to their own and never give it away.

Merry Christmas and Peace on Earth.

This is sad to me. I was there and thought those things about God and Jesus. I wish somebody had told me that people are special too, and that it's okay to give your love to yourself and to the people who care for you instead of giving it to an invisible man in the sky. *sigh* I guess I feel for her in the same way I feel for myself. There's nothing quite like that relationship I thought I had.

Peace to you. :)

That reminds me of the time I went to my sister's church and they were singing a song that went something like, "I'd rather be lonely than be without Jesus, I'd rather be friendless than be without Jesus, I'd rather be homeless than be without Jesus, I'd rather be hungry than be without Jesus" and so forth. As soon as I realized what the song was saying I abruptly stopped singing. My sister whispered, "why did you stop?" I told her I would tell her after the service.

So I did. I said, "I cannot sing a song like that. That is a horrible, horrible song. Have you never heard of 'be careful what you pray for, you might get it?' Those people do not know what they are saying. Otherwise they would not be saying it so glibly."

And that was the end of the matter right there. She did not argue with me or try to convince me that I had it all wrong.