No pain
| Tuesday 5th January 2010 10:00am 1 |
syncopated
3 Posts
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The empty feeling of loss following de-conversion is the greatest
pain I have ever felt. Having experienced that unparalleled pain of
loss, I feel like I can no longer be hurt. I wonder if I would be
deluded in thinking that I am now impervious to any or at least
most kinds of disappointment.
Everybody dies. I have thought a lot about my mortality.
Nowadays, my experience of things that would normally be painful
seems to be painless (excluding physical pain). Am I crazy or in
denial?
This kind of 'numbness' is quite new to me.
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| Tuesday 5th January 2010 07:54pm 2 |
LeoPardus
93 Posts
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It's a bit like experiencing a death of someone close to you. You
do become numb for a while. But later, you begin to return to
normal.
You'll feel everything again just as you used to. And with time
the memory of the religion will assume a more minor place in your
memory. Right now it's just big; like healing wound.
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| Wednesday 6th January 2010 05:29am 3 |
syncopated
3 Posts
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Don't get me wrong, though. I feel little disappointment, but I
still feel happiness. It's been 14 months since I de-converted. The
feeling is surreal.
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| Tuesday 12th January 2010 03:51am 4 |
Infidel
86 Posts
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I didn't experience any sense of loss except for the loss of my
young adult life chasing a pipedream called "full time ministry".
If I hadn't fallen for that bullshit, I could have gone on to do
something I truly loved. I can't get those years back and it
pisses me off.
I've ranted about this before, so I'll leave it at that.
I truly do not miss church, the bible or christianity at all.
Once I got past the doubts I had when I first began the
deconversion stroll (think of it as walking the aisle for Jesus,
only backwards out the door!) I have not had the slightest desire
to go back.
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