Disappointed
I'm disappointed in my wife, but not suprised. We were just talking
and I was telling her that I finally figured out what happened this
past summer that "pushed me over the edge" into doubt and
ultimately led to my deconversion.
I guess a little background is required here. Most recently I attended a messianic jewish synagouge. It was fun and exciting at first and I began a torah study in my home four years ago. All was well at first, but as time went on I began to realized that I was being taught by my rabbi and by the course material in my torah study that the MJ community's opion was that everything I had learned as a gentile believer was wrong because it was divorced from christianity's jewish roots.
My first flag went up about 2 years ago when I realized that the torah study material always spoke disparengingly of christian teaching or interpretations of certain passages of the bible. I got to the point where I wondered aloud, "If we got EVERYTHING wrong, how did we get Jesus (or Yeshua as he is called in the MJ community to "bring back" his jewishness) right? How is it we were right on that one point and only that one point?"
I almost bought into it, but then this past summer, the publishers of the study material came out and basically said, "Oops. We've changed our minds." about some of the most fundamental teachings they had within the MJ community.
So I was left with: They have told me for 3+ years that everything the church taught was wrong and now they say, "oops"?
I had other issues going on with my beliefs as it was and this was the last straw. The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
So I decided to start with the basics. Since all of my belief system was based on the bible, it made sense to me to validate the bible because if the bible wasn't valid, none of the other teachings mattered.
If you're on this site, you know where that led!
Now back to my conversation with my wife. The friends that I mentioned in another post are coming over tonight and my suspicions were well founded. My wife is hoping for some type of intervention. I say that because she made a comment that she hoped that the husband who is a good friend (I hope that "is" doesn't become "was", but we'll see) could say some magic phrase to reassure me. That told me that she has not truly listened to all that I have shared with her about the research I've done and the answers I found. She's still hoping for Scott the devout Christain.
That guy is gone. Destroyed by christianity itself and buried by facts. Facts that show that the bible is a collection of stories, but nothing more.
How do I get her to understand that?
I guess a little background is required here. Most recently I attended a messianic jewish synagouge. It was fun and exciting at first and I began a torah study in my home four years ago. All was well at first, but as time went on I began to realized that I was being taught by my rabbi and by the course material in my torah study that the MJ community's opion was that everything I had learned as a gentile believer was wrong because it was divorced from christianity's jewish roots.
My first flag went up about 2 years ago when I realized that the torah study material always spoke disparengingly of christian teaching or interpretations of certain passages of the bible. I got to the point where I wondered aloud, "If we got EVERYTHING wrong, how did we get Jesus (or Yeshua as he is called in the MJ community to "bring back" his jewishness) right? How is it we were right on that one point and only that one point?"
I almost bought into it, but then this past summer, the publishers of the study material came out and basically said, "Oops. We've changed our minds." about some of the most fundamental teachings they had within the MJ community.
So I was left with: They have told me for 3+ years that everything the church taught was wrong and now they say, "oops"?
I had other issues going on with my beliefs as it was and this was the last straw. The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
So I decided to start with the basics. Since all of my belief system was based on the bible, it made sense to me to validate the bible because if the bible wasn't valid, none of the other teachings mattered.
If you're on this site, you know where that led!
Now back to my conversation with my wife. The friends that I mentioned in another post are coming over tonight and my suspicions were well founded. My wife is hoping for some type of intervention. I say that because she made a comment that she hoped that the husband who is a good friend (I hope that "is" doesn't become "was", but we'll see) could say some magic phrase to reassure me. That told me that she has not truly listened to all that I have shared with her about the research I've done and the answers I found. She's still hoping for Scott the devout Christain.
That guy is gone. Destroyed by christianity itself and buried by facts. Facts that show that the bible is a collection of stories, but nothing more.
How do I get her to understand that?
1 Comment
It may be because it's too big a threat, too uncomfortable, to costly to de-convert, to embarrassing, etc. But for whatever reason, most people simply WILL not ever even consider following the lines of doubt, investigation, and evidence. Not when the lines of reassurance, pat answers, and comfort are so much easier.
I've had to accept that my wife will never even consider where I'm at. The topic is closed. She can allow me to be where I'm at, but she will not ever look at it. At least she has recognized that it's not worth making any effort to talk me back into the faith. So we simply declared a truce and that's the end of it.
Hmpf. Maybe not so encouraging an answer, but that's where some of us have to settle.
Click here to sign up now.